As tattoos become increasingly common among young adults, some parents are treating their children’s new ink as a source of pride — and are eager to share it. For one reader, however, the trend has become an awkward social situation.
“I’ve noticed more and more of my friends’ young adult children are getting tattoos,” the reader writes. “Often, my friends share the news like it’s an accomplishment, and if the young adult is present, they’ll be called over to show off the tattoo—presumably to receive compliments.”
The reader clarifies they bear no ill will toward those who choose to get tattoos but admits they don’t personally find body art praiseworthy, particularly when it’s a decision made at 18 or 19. While others in the group might offer polite compliments, the reader typically just listens with a smile—torn between not wanting to offer false praise and feeling that silence might seem impolite.
Miss Manners responds
If there’s one thing today’s young adults should have gleaned from the internet age, it’s that showcasing personal decisions doesn’t always yield universal approval. Unfortunately, it seems their parents may not have received the same lesson—especially when attempting to solicit admiration from others.
That said, Miss Manners advises you don’t have to fake flattery, nor should you deliver blunt criticism. Instead, approach the moment with courteous curiosity. Try asking neutral, polite questions such as:
“How did you choose the design?”
“Do you plan on getting more?”
What you definitely shouldn’t ask? “Are you nuts?”
In short, you can stay gracious without being disingenuous. A little tact goes a long way—even when your personal opinion isn’t inked with enthusiasm.
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